February 2012
dearscience:
you’re all going to liveblog the oscars aren’t you
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kevinjp:
same
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Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: My boyfriend isn't excited about sex anymore, because I lost my figure due to pregnancy. Will you pay for his erectile dysfunction pills?
Government: Yes.
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If Common Sense Was Used in Government and the...
Citizen: I don't believe in abortion.
Government: Then don't get one.
Citizen: I don't believe in birth control.
Government: You don't have to use it.
Citizen: I think gay marriage is a sin.
Government: Don't marry the same sex then.
Citizen: I want my kids to learn about creationism.
Government: Take them to church.
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Everyone in this entire town: OH MY GOD FUN. IS COMING IN JUNE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I CAN DIE HAPPY! THEY'RE THE BOMBBBBB!!!!!!
Me: (still crying from The Format hiatus in 2008)
i swear to god i will open wrists if i dont have...
somewhere in or around my mouth
I NEEEEED IT
…I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.
–
“The Fault in our Stars” (John Green)
i have a presentation to do at 8.
I’M SO SCARED IDK I’M JUST REALLY BAD AT PUBLIC SPEAKING OK
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trytoremember-forget:
i shake it like jello make the boys say hello cause they know im rockin the beat i know you heard a lot about great mcs but they got nothing on me cuz im five foot two i wanna dance with you and im sophisticated fun i eat fillet mignon and im nice and young best believe im number one
why was i sleeping since 7
now how will i sleep through the night
so i definitely missed my registration.
i got the one of the earliest registration times and all my classes were open last night. but then i completely forgot until 8pm tonight. all of my classes but 1 were wait listed.
cool.